I don't have a dolmio day and neither should you!

Italy has been defined over the years as a land which has spawned art, music, food. Italians wildly gesticulate, shout (they are actually just talking normally, so don't worry) and a slap is a mere term of endearment. And family, well family is a unique bond shared around the dinner table where you will find much shouting (remember - talking), wild gesticulations and the good ol' slap! 

But what Italy isn't, what it really doesn't stand for is the image conjured up by 7 puppets on our nightly TV screens screaming "WHENS'A YOUR DOLMIO DAY'A!" 

Let me point out the inaccuracies/blantant stereotyping created by this advert: 

1) Mamma doesn't slave away sticking sunglasses on the tomatoes and waiting for them to ripen. She isn't as some adverts suggest, the buffer between the playboy son and the trollop he dragged home last night. No, she would be either a) figuring out which family she was from and passing judgement or b) disposing of her accordingly. 

2) Pappa doesn't always have a moustache, the sweat would make it reak of old man, rarely wears a hat unless he lived in Veneto, and is not simply retarded like the advert suggests. He would be too concerned after watching the latest Porta a Porta on the economic state of Italy to be joking around with the good lady! 

3) Son - Since when does every Italian man apparently look like John Travolta? A red sports car? More like a Fiat Uno advertising exec! 

4) Shitty kids/grandchildren well in fairness they got that one bang on! 

5) The sauce just plonked on top of the pasta! WTF, an Italian would never do that! You coat the pasta with a small layer of the sauce first, it helps emulsify the pasta and stop it being so bland! 

So what's the point with my ire I hear you scream! This doesn't represent Italy, I know it's a parody, I know it's meant to be pointing out a fluffy p1ss take of my land but seriously, who sticks on their website "whens'a your dolmio day" that's stereotyping a speech defect associated with being Italian speaking English....we don't all sound like Gino D'accampo - god bless him! And anyway, why are they speaking to each other in English if they are an Italian family, no one in Italy is THAT much of a show-off! 

I don't mind the stereotypes, if I did, Top Gear every week would get a letter from me, but it forms part of our image to the UK audience, I just ask, when you next see me don't ask when my dolmio day is? I don't have one, and neither should you!